2014 November 17, 2014

Travel failed

Published: | Categories: Prose |

- And what to tell? Travel is not possible. Beasts gathered little ...

Sergei Ivanovich called me on the first day after our return.
- What Igor Vsevolodovich mankiruya their immediate responsibilities? Squander the people's money? - Circled nervously as furious bumblebee, the office fifteen minutes, Osipov sat, having rested his forehead in his hands. - Hey, Igor, Igor, how could you let me down ...
I had the audacity and asked:
- What happened, Sergei?
Although well aware of - that. And I am waiting for this conversation for the last week. Even when operated third captain. Incidentally, the inevitable beating from his superiors - great for meditation and martial conditions close to them. When you know that you will soon be face to face with an angry Osipov, the prospect of their own hands to kill one of the legendary heroes of the humanoid races, four cavalier Gold Stars, scares have somehow half-heartedly.
- What happened? - Whisper on a breath asked Osipov. And growled: - Animals where ?!
I wanted to remove the mirror from the wall and show - where, but decided against it. I have to live for at least five years and talk a mad child to make a career in biology. Generally in science, of course, but in biology - in particular.
- Here, - fumbling in my pocket, I put on the table scarf peach suit.
- Cute - out of it in his hands and is clearly cooling down, the chief growled. - Granddaughter take away. Spider ... spider - it's good. But enough! - He banged his fist on the table.
I silently placed before him on the table listing the list of imported animals. Govorun was not among them, he said yesterday that: "The bird talker different mind, intelligence and right to self-determination", and flew away. Thank you first captain, stopped ringing the evening that bird got safely.
The list was indecent Kuts. Kutz and needy.
- Scribble that his - said Osipov, jabbing smoked nail in the printout - you, Igor, take. From sin. I each mouse that you bring, in the face remember! And even one of the three ... - Sergei groaned quite remembering gerbil with an empty planet - really funny little animals, a kind of game evolution.
- You, Igor, do not think that now prooretsya old bastard, and everything will calm down. I will punish you ... I love you, brat, so punish you I zarecheshsya in Space sheriff's play! You have sent a request for evridikary?
I shuddered. The pavilion, which reproduces the geophysical conditions of Eurydice and capable of supporting at least one closed biocenosis, we waited five years. At the end of last year finally came to a positive response, but the Pavilion promised to build only one of the earthly branches Kosmozo. Or, in our or in Melbourne.
- Properly shudder! Your mission, rather, filling the zoo on its results, was to be the final deciding factor when choosing a site for the pavilion.
Chef back hunched, his head in his hands. For him, the fact that we were left without evridikariya, too, was a kind of a disaster. I watched a genuine collector's despair, which right from under the nose drew a future gem exposure.
- Shorter! Do what you want, but that by Monday, dozens of new animals frolicking in their cages!
- Dozen - is brought together with? - I took a chance to clarify.
- Dozen - a dozen more! - Barked Osipov. - And who will be traded, he will sit in my chair and will steer this madhouse alone, and fifteen years later, and in the same Monday!

- ... That's something like that - I threw up his hands.
Alice apologetic and sympathetic sniffed. White Twins again cold and the whole school perezarazhali biological station at Giraffe inclusive. Good thing my pets our local viruses will not stick ...
I got a blister with pills and handed her daughter:
- Adult girl, a biologist, and medication only after drinking seven reminders. Where is the good?
- I corrected, Daddy! - Suspiciously obediently said the child and ran into the living room, along with pills and a glass of my old comm, I have long been used as a backup notebook.
Hit upon the idea, I did not, because the videophone screen lit up and offered to take a call on my sworn friend - Professor Mitchell Petranovskogo from Melbourne.
- Well, Igor, you've chosen the color of T-shirt? - Cheerfully asked Petranovsky, stroking his beard - luxury, bushy, green with envy have died.
I groaned.
We argued with Mitchell. On evridikary, more precisely, on who will get it. Yes, yes, as a boy, I know myself! Petranovsky if they lose promised to shave his beard, and I, for lack of vegetation on the front of the head (on the brow Mitchell did not attempt), pledged to wear a T-shirt with the inscription: "Prahfessor covered himself!". Year. Year to wear this stupid shirt.
Thus, the impending disaster was not only inevitable, but also extremely shameful.
- Purple want - I said with hatred. - Spotted!
- The color of the sky? Hood - Mitchell said, and hung up.
Alice came back into the room.
- Daddy, I have to fly a little bit here ...
- Where? - I said sternly. - And you do not acclimatized, a cold, which is still fly?
- Daddy! - I can not argue with her when she makes eye like that. Honestly, honestly these eyes. I would not know her daughter - would have believed. But here know little. We still manage to not give up, but it's just useless ... - Not far, in the New India, on the ethnographic festival! I really have to project. Dad, you do not want your daughter to be lagging in ethnography?
I just waved his hand. Has come to a shameful bleating in the style of "Look at me! That was home for dinner! "And so on mean completely lose face. And saved some illusion of teaching authority.
- I love you Daddy! - Aleesk whirlwind swept out of the room.
In some old book I read about a boy who tormented himself in vain throwing, if he had been summoned to answer unlearned lesson, and just stared out the window, not thinking about the problem. I decided to follow his example. I see how settled in stationary cells brand new, unwrapped bar and sat down to finish writing an article "Herald of RS".
And then it began.
The first screen will appear the first captain and said that now send me a pneumatic four talkers eggs. Our talker, is returned to him not one, but with the family.
- And I do not know how to care for newborns talkers - Captain spread his hands helplessly. - Where it all takes, this is your ... Dog rose syrup? Help, Professor?
In this first so cunningly squinting that take his words at face value, and could not have a baby. Though human, though talkers. But I was more concerned with other things.
- Are you sure that sending of pneumomail not harm embryos? And even more so - the spatial mail?
- Professor - reproachfully said first captain - you think bad about me! No, not hurt, I figured. By the way, you know that the talkers, if necessary, can fly through the corona of stars, without any damage to itself?
- And ... happy father does not mind?
The first captain pulled back slightly in his chair, which sat on the table in front of the display jumped talker.
- Prrrofessorrr Seleznev - a highly worthy Specialist! - Said the captain of the bird voice, and "expert" felt honored.
Before I could get the parcel and build a homegrown incubator as the doorbell rang. Behind the door, he showed a young man of twenty with a big backpack. In the dim light of the stairwell light only teeth and whites of the eyes.
- Hello, Professor! Semenchuk asked me to call you, Anton.
With Toshka Semenchuk, we worked together in the construction team at Beta Epsilon. Years so ... oh, you know how time flies. Toshka went on the navigator at the Kharkov Military Space and judging by the awe with which the young man pronounces his name, navigator my student friend became correct. Hereby, says Aliska.
The room was discovered that in addition to bright teeth and eyes, the young man can boast even her short, sun-bleached bristle on the skull. Everything else, except for spotty shorts, was covered with a thick brown tan reminiscent of Hindu yogis, but characteristic bulbous nose quickly returned to the idea of ​​Ryazan baked cakes. With eyes.
The young man gently shook the shoulder bag, undid it and pulled out something more like a cross between a koala with grass mat.
- It Syapa - said the young man, gently scratching something either behind the ear, or under the belly. - Syaaaaapochka Syapochka ... well ...
Two minutes later, I felt like the odd man out in the prolonged intimate stage and coughed.
- Professor! - He raised his youth. - Anton asked to take her to you as a mechanic in a free space not thrown out. Y Flayer! - The boy's eyes burned with righteous anger against unknown to me the mechanics of a - presumably Toshkinogo - ship.
- What Syapochka eat? - I asked a major biological question. - And where did you have it at all?
- Where to have ... - the boy thought. - In the Gamma Cygni ... no, it is then ... on Proxima Centauri? No, far away ... And let's - he caught fire, - I ask the navigator, he will route our mail reset?
That still was not enough ... but do not leave the animal is threatened with deportation to the space, really.
- So what eats good Syapa?
From the mouth of Syapy I flew a long red tongue and licked off my desk jade desk set.
- Silicates ... - said the boy, fascinated seeing sweet licks Syapu. - Excuse her, please, she soon will be puppies, she sometimes does not control themselves. And so it is clever and very good! - Hastily added the young man.
- Do not control themselves in terms of food, or I still have something to prepare? - I said.
- In the food ... and the mechanics we have, unfortunately, an amateur geologist, - said the boy sadly.
Do not resist, I chuckled. Yes, now the threat of mechanics became clear to me. I can not say - forgivable, but understandable.
- Are you sure that this is an animal, not a sentient being? - I asked for the order. I found someone to ask.
- Yes of course! - Troubled young man. - Are we would not know? Have we taken sapiens from the planet? They also no one be confused!
- I do not know ... - I said thoughtfully, recalling the story of the shushami. A terrible, by the way, the scandal came out. Poloskova just not removed from the flight. Alice through the same Shush barely begged him amnesty. - A friend of mine confused.
- This Fool your friend - the boy blurted out rashly. - Excuse me.
- Maybe a fool - I agreed. - They say that normal people in Kosmoflot do not last long, either quit or mental aberrations begin. And the Star of the Hero in his right mind just do not deserve ...
- You mean Poloskova, or what? - I guessed the boy blushed so that it was visible even under the tan.
- No, not Syapa sapiens - with conviction, he added, handing me the animal from hand to hand. In the stomach of the beast something crackled, as if there rolled silicate granules. Or bags of diamonds. - But she is very clever and obedient.
Clever Syapa belched delicately my "Parker" and breathed into my face with acid vapors.
After Toshkinogo trainee came two girls with a basket Sirian urchins and another young man, disheveled and never left comm. Nodding to me, he pulled from his pocket vernonskogo lizard (vernonskogo poisonous lizard!), Put it on the bedside table and left, continuing to argue with comm: "What Naumov, well, again Naumov? After all, sane, like, not old still people ... Well, read the spell, the system writes? For example, "x" as the Martian "hfy" more ... "
Three more parcels delivered robokurery, and then I stopped to remember who knocks on the door, nodded thanks, greetings and asked to convey back to his zoo.
In the evening, when I was desperate to repair a synthesizer, unable to withstand the varied diet of my freak show (leave the house, I was afraid, you never know, suddenly brought another little creatures), personally burned porridge (with lumps!), Alice returned.
- Ohhh! - Satisfaction she said, looking around the living room, through which jump has jumped, crawled and entwine it with some vines dozen different species. - You have good friends.
- Friends, then I have good ... - I said ominously, stirring porridge. - But who tore from the work of a lot of people respected and forced them to run around, to look alien beasts? Those who without permission took my comments, and - here I growled like a bear - it moved from the place?
- Nuuu ... - Alice began to twirl in the floor just two holes, and the toe of the shoe look. - All the right result?
I was just about to answer something like that ... to Pestalozzi and Makarenko was not necessary for me to blush, in the half-open door driven truck with a huge cage of branches and ropes.
- And this is from me - quickly said Alice, looking, as I tried unsuccessfully to close the mouth.
- It's shkvarnik Indies! - I was outraged when I was back speechless. - He is deadly!
- Of course - she said soothingly daughter. - That's why I did not catch it, and bartered with locals. In a box of ice cream. Good, by the way, was the ice cream, Sirian, I had been saving for his birthday ... - sadly she added. - Look, Daddy, I love you? Even more than ice cream. A shkvarnik Aborigines still wanted to bring a sacrifice. Imagine, Dad, this cute beautiful animals - a sacrifice!
Cute beautiful animals revealed seventeen pairs of horizontal and vertical twenty-three pairs of mandibles and according roared.
- Festival, then - I croaked, swallowing the words that you can not, but sometimes I want to say at the children. - The project, therefore, on the ethnography ...
- What project? - Outraged Aliska. - The project is ready! I just sketch the defense and everything! I'm trading in the video wrote! You think so easy to exchange a sacrificial animal from religious fanatics? Yes, if it were not for my fiver on the ethnography!
- I was wrong - I said, lifting his hands up. - I'm not even going to make you now have porridge.
He added to himself: "Anyway, it turned out inedible ..."
- Hooray!
- So, Alice, you are also my friend? - I said thoughtfully, considering grimy daughter's attractive face. - Come on, wash! - Alice picked up the waist, I carried her into the bathroom.
- Do you doubt it? - Outraged daughter from under his arm.
- Never! - I answered honestly. - Will you come with me?
- Yes!!! - Screamed Aliska.
I guess I'm used to solve the riddle of the origin of life on Earth than understand where this baby switch, the switch body from the "Ambitious young scientist" to "eight-year girl."
- Then quickly wash and go.
- Where are we going? - Still Alice asked for towels. On the towel were gray spots, but as long as my mother does not see - you can.
- First, we'll take young recruits in Kosmozo and once again all the feed. Then we'll buy you an ice cream Sirian. The box can not promise, but the bucket can safely rely. And then - I'm vindictive took aim at the mirror - we go to choose a razor for Professor Petranovskogo!


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